Reflections on expectations......


Hi, everyone! In this blog, I will like to share about this big word - EXPECTATION and share my real-life experience. Speaking of expectations, the first thing which comes to my mind is our parents' expectations of us. Many parents, including mine, have high academic expectations of their children.


- High expectations of me

My parents start to have high expectations of me since I start going to school. Although their main concern is my academic, they also have expectations in several different areas such as behaviour, self hygiene and attitude. As parents of a student, they have high expectations of me as they want me to excel in my studies and have a better future. In my opinion, I believe this shows that my parents have the best interests for me and after all, having high expectations can also be an act of love to us!


In order for me to do well in my studies, my parents provide me with a conducive learning environment and buy a lot of assessments for me to revise. They expect me to work hard for my studies since I was young. Aim for perfection is what they want and they always tell me to strive for the best for everything. Well, I understand that they want me to be successful when I grow up, hence, their expectations are quite high. In fact, they always say that I must work hard and study well in order to get a good job. As a child, I will always try my best and put in all my effort.

In addition, they also want me to have a good learning attitude in order to study well, hence, they feel that having a high aim is a way for this. However, I must say that they do not have too high expectations of me, hence, they will try not to pose too much stress on me, especially when I am now secondary one (more assignments, exams, projects......).


What is different that I will always have high expectations on myself in academic. As a result of this, stress is inevitable and sometimes, I will really be unable to cope with my homework. But I will still do well for my exams, hence, I strongly believe that having a suitable level of expectations is good for us.


UCF psychologist Kimberly Renk once said, "that many parents and students hold different perceptions of what the parents' expectations are. Students often are trying to meet goals far tougher than the ideals their parents have in mind."


- What if I am a parent......?

Now, let's change our perspective. If I am a parent of two children, my expectations of my children will be quite similar to that of my parents. I will give them a suitable level of stress to help them to aim for perfection and nevertheless, I will have high expectations of them. In addition, I will hope that they will have good learning attitude and some important values such as perserverance and determination. I will expect them to work hard and strive for the best.


However, I will also understand their feelings and opinions of my expectations so that they will be willing to work hard for their goals. I will also hope that they will have their own expectations of themselves.


As you can see, both my parents and I have similiar goals for our children. This shows that although the generations are different, the goals and expectations of parents for their children are still the same and also tells us that all parents want their children to work hard to be useful adults who will make contributions to the society. So, I feel that all parents are the same and they all love and care about their children a lot as they will always find things which are the best for their childrens and have the best interest for them.

Book Review on Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah

Hi, everyone! Once again, I had finished reading another well-written novel entitiled, Falling Leaves which was written by a famous, talented writer, Adeline Yen Mah. As I started reading this novel, I was touched by Adeline Yen Mah's account of her terrible childhood which was supposely to be wonderful for most people. I could not stop reading since I opened it as I was captivated by the psychological drama in this book.



Background

Falling Leaves was first published in 1997 and written by Adeline Yen Mah. This novel is actually a memoir of an unwanted Chinese daughter which was the writer herself. In other words, it is actually sort of like an auto-biography of Adeline herself. Adeline Yen Mah (Chinese: 馬嚴君玲) is a Chinese-American author and physician. She was born in 1937 but her exact birth date is unknown, though according to her biography, she was later given her father's birthday, 30 November as mentioned in the novel. She grew up in Tianjin, Shanghai and Hong Kong with an older sister, Lydia (Jun-pei); three older brothers, Gregory (Zi-jie), Edgar (Zi-lin)and James (Zi-jun) and a younger half brother, Franklin and half sister, Susan (Jun-qing). She has stated in her book, Falling Leaves that she has not used the real names of her siblings and their spouses in order to protect their identities. However, she used the real names of her father, stepmother, aunt and husband. Currently, she lives in Huntington Beach, California and spends her time in London and Hong Kong as well. She is then married to Professor Robert Mah and has two children.



Adeline Yen Mah has been heralded as one of the most important contemporary writers to have emerged from China. Her novels represent a complex tapestry in which political, religious, cultural and economic strands merge inextricably to reveal a society heavily steeped in tradition. Undoubtedly, Adeline Yen Mah had a harrowing and at times, unbelievable childhood. In 1997 after a silence of more than fifty years, she published her first novel, Falling Leaves, a calmly eloquent account of a dramatic tale.Adeline Yen Mah’s novel, set in the context of considerable political upheaval, is lucratively enlightening. Her chief impetus was clearly to portray the devastating reality of a family life devoid of love and benevolence. However, within this autobiographical framework, Yen Mah also succeeds in stressing the turmoil and inconsistencies inherent in the wider structures of Chinese society. The result is a novel that works on a multitude of levels, appealing to an audience of a heterogeneous nature......

Books written by her

  • Falling Leaves (1997)

  • Chinese Cinderella: The True Story of an Unwanted Daughter (1999)

  • Watching the Tree: A Chinese Daughter Reflects on Happiness, Traditions, and Spiritual Wisdom (2000)

  • A Thousand Pieces of Gold: A Memoir of China's Past through its Proverbs (2002)

  • Chinese Cinderella and the Secret Dragon Society (2005) "Chinese Cinderella The Mystery of the Song Dynasty

Summary of the novel
Born in 1937 to an affluent Chinese family, after one eldest sister and three brothers, Adeline Yen Mah was the fifth and youngest children in her family. She was born in a port city which was a thousand miles north of Shanghai. This is a story of an unwanted Chinese daughter growing up during the Communist Revolution who was blamed for her mother's death, ignored by her millionaire father and unwanted by her Eurasian step mother. But things started to turn even bad for Adeline since she was born. Adeline's mom died not long after her birth. As a result, people in those time believed that it was a bad omen when such a thing occur. Hence, her siblings hated and treated her very badly. Although Adeline's father loved her mother very much, he did not transfer those love to the children after Adeline's mother 's death. This persisted but got worse one year later.

One year after, her father remarried a beautiful, imperious and spoiled woman of half-Chinese, half-French lady who proceeded to turn him into an unfeeling brute as well as make the children's life a hell. As ordered by her father, the children had to call her Niang. However, little did they know that this marriage was like hell on earth towards the children, grandparents and the sister of the father, Aunt Baba. Unfortunately, Adeline's years of mental and physical abuse then began when her mother died shortly after giving birth to her, leaving Adeline to suffer under a cold and heartless stepmother, Niang whose sadistic acts were never questioned and responded by her husband.


At that time, Adeline's family enjoyed rare privileges during a time of politcal and cultural upheaval. But wealth and position could never shield and protect Adeline from a childhood of appalling emotional abuse by her cruel and manipulative stepmother. To make things worse, Adeline was even bullied by her older siblings as they sort of blame her for their first mom's death and also at that time, she was the youngest, hence, it was common for her to be bullied and be in disadvantage. However, when their step mom had her own children, one boy and a girl, the other siblings including Adeline were then bullied by their step brother who was spoiled by the luxury given by his parents.

In the novel, Adeline's family then moved to Hong Kong when the communist came into power not long after World War 2. In Hong Kong, the father became more successful in hs career but in the household, no changes, still a hell hole to Adeline. Although her father ran a wildly successful import-export business that survived the Japanese occupation and transforms itself into other businesses in Hong Kong after the Communist takeover, the children including Adeline were kept on a tight lead with little spending money but not the step mother's children who was living in luxury.

As young Adeline grew up, she tried her best to please her father and Niang in order for them to have good impressions of her. In school, she studied hard and was great in her school results. However, to her utmost horro, this caused her other siblings to be jealous of her. As a result, her step mother would divide and conquer the siblings as she did not want them to be united against her. Fortunately, Adeline's only refuge was her beloved Aunt Baba who was the older sister of Adeline's father but she was also much despised because she was a spinster and financially dependent on her brother. In addition, she was bullied and given little privilege in the family. This then caused her to leave the house for work. As a result, Adeline was then left alone and she had to stand for herself now......


In her studies, she was very strong in her English. Her stories was her getaway from hell at home. Determined to survive through her enduring faith in family unity, Adeline struggled for independence as she moved from Hong Kong to England and eventually to the United States to become a physician and writer. She then went back to Hong Kong to work, after a while she decided to go to US. She became successful after much hardship there. Even when she was successful, she still yearn for her father's love and step mom's acceptance. Sadly it never happened. Her father may have loved her but would not dare show it because of the step mom.


But her horrific childhood still continued to haunt her. Her father, who was a multi-millionaire, passed away in 1988, but Niang prevented his children from reading his will by telling them that he had died penniless. Niang herself passed away two years later, and the drama surrounding her death played itself out like a scene from Adeline's childhood re-enacted 40 years later. It was only through writing her memoir that Adeline could accept her roots and exorcise the demons from her past. By writing this story she wants to tell people that no matter how tough life is, there is always a silver lining out there and urge people not to give up on their dreams.


Written with a powerful voice that illuminates the complexities of Chinese society and family relationships throughout all cultures, Falling Leaves is a work of startling, heartfelt intimacy by Adeline Yen Mah. It is a story of greed, hatred and jealousy; a domestic dramais played against the extraordinary political events in China and Hong Kong. FALLING LEAVES Written with the emotional force of a novel but with a vividness drawn from a personal and political background.


My reflections
In my opinion, this novel is a compelling, painful and ultimately triumphant story of a girl's journey into adulthood. Adeline's story is a testament to the most basic of human needs: acceptance, love, and understanding. With a powerful voice that speaks of the harsh realities of growing up female in a family and society that kept girls in emotional chains, Falling Leaves is a work of heartfelt intimacy and a rare authentic portrait of twentieth-century China.


I feel that Adeline’s childhood in China during the civil war was a period of fear, isolation and humiliation. The cause of this was actually not political upheaval but systematic emotional and physical abuse. Therefore, it is precisely amidst the political turbulence that a little girl struggles to survive an oppressive and potentially paralysing childhood in search for love and pursuit for dream. To me, this is perhaps the most explicit example of this is the growing presence of Western influence on Chinese culture. Hence, FALLING LEAVES has become a surprise bestseller all over the world. Don't you agree......?

Hi everyone! This is my updated online bookshelf which I believe is much anticpated. You can see 5 favorite Books, 5 Books which I have read, 5 Books which I am reading and 10 Books which I want to read. It is written as follow:

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